The Invisible Fat Man

Jason Frerichs

Founding Member and first Chair of the Iowa Democratic Party Progressive CaucusContributor at The Good Men Project

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1 Response

  1. Chris Davis says:

    Hello Sweetheart ~ I can relate to EVERY word you wrote, and I respect you for courageously sharing it with strangers. You clearly are a sensitive and intelligent individual, and I feel for you. You deserve to be appreciated as much as anyone else does. Unfortunately, we live in a society where even the best of people merely spout rhetoric about discrimination and equality without actually practicing it. I, too, am a has-been. I am a former fitness instructor and beauty competition contestant, so I have difficulty even accepting myself as I am now. Even though our collective mothers all tell us “it’s what’s on the inside that counts,” we know that it isn’t to most people. Some ignore us and pretend not to see us; others make cruel remarks. Although I was once a social butterfly, I have become a reclusive fatapillar. I know that no one cares to hear anything I have to say unless I do so anonymously online without a physical description of myself. No one cares that I have a wry sense of humor, a great singing, or a special way with animals. I heard of a survey that the majority of men would prefer to sleep with a woman with an STD than a fat one. Unbelievable. You may remember a story not long ago about research indicating that being friends with fat people makes you fat—as if obesity is contagious. I doubt if any of my full-figured friends, corpulent cousins, zaftig Zeldas, BBWs, overweight or any other euphemistic term they use to describe themselves appreciate the “F” word. It’s especially sad that even some people in other oppressed groups (racial minorities, LGBTQ, disabled, elderly, etc.) have no problem stating in their dating profiles, “No Fatties.” When it’s hot outside, I feel like I have no right to wear comfortable clothing because the sight of my exposed flesh is so offensive to others. Although I’ve always thought of myself as an incurable romantic, I’ve become terribly cynical about the existence of love. I now firmly believe it’s all about youth, beauty, and money. Who wouldn’t be depressed about such a realization (even without a genetic predisposition)?! I admire you for your work with Progressive Voices of Iowa. I felt compelled to respond immediately after my first visit to the website, and plan to return to explore it further. I don’t care if you’re fat. Joe Cocker said it best: You are so beautiful … to me.

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